


If I never knew you

by reylotrash711



Series: reylotrash711's music fics [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Devoted Reylo, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Inspired by Music, Locked up, Love, Love Confessions, Near Death, No Pregnancy, Prison, Reylo - Freeform, pocahontas inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24839905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash711/pseuds/reylotrash711
Summary: After months of meeting in secret, Rey and Ben are caught by the Resistance. Rey is pardoned, her role as the Last Jedi too important to have her labelled as a traitor. The former Supreme Leader is not as fortunate and Rey is forced to choose between her loyalty to the Resistance and the man she is very quickly falling in love with...
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Kylo Ren
Series: reylotrash711's music fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796797
Comments: 36
Kudos: 129
Collections: Reylo Jukebox Exchange





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fangirl_outlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_outlet/gifts).



> Written for the Reylo Jukebox Exchange and inspired by "If I never knew you." from Pocahontas for fangirl_outlet. I hope you enjoy, more chapters are on the way 😊
> 
> 🎧 [Listen to the song here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiuBw_kj1-U)
> 
> Thank you to Cecilia for beta reading this fic, as always you are a star!  
> You can check out here [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/works) to read her amazing stories

_ I thought our love would be so beautiful _

_ Somehow we'd make the whole world bright _

_ I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong _

_ All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night _

_ But still my heart is saying we were right _

It was her fault. It was all her fault. 

She thought she had covered her tracks, that she had been just as careful as every time before. But they had followed her, tracked her ship to the planet they had chosen to meet on this time, six months after Crait. 

The first time they had met again in person, after what had occurred in the throne room, Rey had been hesitant. She had walked out with a newly repaired lightsaber in hand, approaching him cautiously. He was just as hesitant, his crimson blade crackling as he held it firmly. Neither of them really knew why they had flown out to the quiet planet so they could meet in person. 

He had asked her to join him again, the third time, but dropped his hand once he realised it was no use. And so, they powered down their sabers, clipping them to their belts. They couldn’t fight each other, not after everything that had happened between them. 

They continued to meet, always as nothing more than acquaintances, although they were more like friends now. Rey often wondered what was the point of their meetings, they never discussed the war. It was always about the Force, about them trying to understand the strange bond that had come between them. They tried their best to not make things personal, but more times than not, they would find themselves opening up to each other. They would share the secrets they couldn’t tell anyone else, offer some level of comfort and support.

It was nice to have someone who understood her. That was why Rey started to make more frequent “supply runs” often going away for days at a time and exploring old Jedi temples and libraries with the Supreme Leader. 

He helped her construct her own saber, one that was just hers and didn’t carry the weight of the Skywalker legacy. The yellow blade was perfect, created from parts of her staff. It was  _ hers  _ and it was beautiful. When it was finished, they sparred together, just to test it out, that’s why he had ‘let her win’. 

For months they went undetected. For months, they were able to meet in peace, laying down their weapons and just talking, a time when they could be themselves and let their guards down. 

But, all good things came to an end and after six months of secret meetings, they were caught. 

The Resistance had become suspicious of her and tracked her ship, following her after she left the planet she had retrieved supplies in, all the way to Lothal where the Supreme Leader was waiting.

At first, everything was normal and neither of them noticed the Resistance fighters hiding around the corners. They had met at the temple, greeting each other as they always did, with a handshake that always sent a shiver through Rey as their hands came together. 

He was the first to realise, as they reached the Mortis God’s Mural, the soldiers jumped out and they were surrounded. 

Ben refused to fight, he lay down his weapons and allowed them to take him into custody. They had put Rey in cuffs too, labelling her a traitor and hauling her onto the transport.

They were thrown into cells next to each other on the ship, only a row of bars separating them. She could have mind-tricked the soldiers, escaped. But Ben had surrendered, and she was staying with him. Only when the soldiers had left did she break down allowing the tears to run down her cheeks as she cried. She had let everyone one down, betrayed the Resistance and led Ben into a trap. 

He must have taken sympathy on her, because Ben slipped his hand through the bars and took hers, entwining their fingers. It was a simple, kind act. One that Rey refused to look too much into. 

They held hands for the entire journey, refusing to let go until the soldiers came for them after landing on the base.

Finn, Poe and Rose were shocked to see her being led to the control room alongside their enemy, her wrists bound. Together, Rey and Ben were brought before the Generals who would decide their fate. 

Rey had watched as Leia’s eyes widened at the sight of her son, tearing up slightly before straightening up and placing a mask over her emotions. Her gaze had flickered to Ben who remained just as impassive, eyes straight ahead as he waited to learn his fate. 

The words traitor, spy and Jedi floated around the room until it was decided that Rey would not be punished. As the Last Jedi, she played an important part within the Resistance. Her bounds were removed on the basis that she would not harm anyone in the room, that this had merely been a lapse in judgment. Over the bond, Ben had encouraged her to agree with them, to save herself. 

She did as he said. The Resistance wouldn’t trust her, but being proclaimed innocent would mean she had a better chance at helping Ben. 

They deliberated for two hours, Ben answered every question he was given, offering them vital First Order intel. Rey had hoped that it would be enough to sway the Generals, Leia had suggested that he could prove valuable to them, that they could weaken the First Order from the inside. 

However, much to Rey’s dismay, it wasn’t enough to sway the Resistance leadership. Ben’s crimes were too great. She had watched with tearful eyes as they sentenced him to be executed at dawn in front of the whole of the Resistance, there would even be a holo-broadcast to send the message that the Resistance was in no way afraid of the First Order. 

It was barbaric. But Ben had simply bowed his head, accepting his fate. His eyes met hers across the room as he was dragged away to be put in a cell for the night. 

There was no fear in his eyes, merely acceptance. It made Rey’s heart break. 

That night Rey sobbed into her pillow. After everything they had been through, this is how it was going to end. Ben was going to die, and it was her fault. She was going to lose him and she only had herself to blame.

She cursed the galaxy, she cursed the Resistance, she cursed the First Order and she cursed the war that meant they were supposed to be enemies. The war that had separated them when all they wanted was to be together. She didn’t know when or where, but at some point, she had fallen for him, how had it taken her so long to realise?

Rey cried harder, he would never know, he would never know how she felt about him. It had puzzled her for a long time, made her question everything. 

Maybe if she had realised it sooner, she would have told him. Maybe if she had taken his hand in the throne room, they wouldn’t be where they found themselves now. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Wiping away her tears, Rey got to her feet and made her way over, slowly opening it. 

On the other side was Leia, a plaintive expression across her face, it was evident in her eyes that she had been crying too. 

“General, I-” 

Leia shook her head, taking her hand, “Don’t say a word, follow me and be quiet.” she said, cutting across her. Rey nodded and obliged, following Leia down the almost deserted corridors of the base, nearly everyone was already in bed. 

They came to a stop when they reached the cellblock and Rey’s heart skipped a beat. Leia ordered that the men guarding the cell need to leave, that Rey was here to interrogate the prisoner. The guards left without a word, saying they would return in ten minutes. 

Leia thanked them and turned to Rey, a sad expression across her face, “I am sorry that it has come to this Rey, I’m doing everything I can.” she said.

“You’re our leader, General, surely the rest of the leadership answer to you?” Rey argued.

Leia shook her head, “The leadership voted Rey, they voted against my son. Ben has hurt so many people on this base, they want justice. I can’t pardon them because what I say goes, that would make me like the First Order, a dictator.” Leia looked down at the floor, seeming to be as sad as Rey was, “I wish there was more I could do, but if I went against the leadership’s vote, it may only make Ben’s situation worse.”

“Worse than being executed?” Rey asked, feeling angry that no one else understood who Ben truly was, that he deserved redemption, not death. Stray tears ran down Leia’s cheeks which she quickly wiped away before lifting her chin and placing her General’s mask back, she walked to the cell door, unlocking it she turned to Rey, “I’m sorry Rey, ten minutes, it’s all I can give you.” she said, her voice plaintive and sympathetic.

Rey nodded, “Thank you, General.” 

Leia gave her a small smile, looking into the cell. Her expression faded and her hands shook, not even she could save her son now. 

Rey stepped into the cell, the door closing behind her. 

Ben didn’t look up.

He was chained to the wall, his head bowed. Rey slowly moved to kneel in front of him, gently lifting his chin so he would meet her gaze. 

“Rey.” Ben breathed. Rey leant forward, wrapping her arms around his torso and leaning her head against his chest.

“I’m so sorry.” she whispered, clinging to him. 

Ben shrugged, “I’ve been through worse, can’t think of anything right now, of course.” he said as if he weren’t about to die, as if they had simply ended up in the wrong hyper-lane or picked up the wrong book in one of the libraries they had visited.

Rey shook her head, pulling away, “It would have been better if we never had met, none of this would have happened.”

If only she had never left Jakku, if only they had never come face to face on Takodana all those months ago. 

“Rey, look at me.” Ben said gently. 

Rey turned to him, looking into his eyes that seemed to shine, even now when their entire worlds were falling apart. “I’d rather die tomorrow, than live a hundred years without knowing you.” he said earnestly, “ If I never knew you, if I never felt this connection between us. I would have no inkling of how precious life can be.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she slowly leant forward, pressing her forehead to his and closing her eyes as he continued, “And if I never felt your touch, your hand reaching out to me across the galaxy, I would never have a clue how at last I’d found in you the missing part of me.” 

Rey was crying now, her shoulders shaking as she reached out to cup his cheeks. He brushed his nose against hers in a comforting gesture. Rey slowly pulled away, opening her eyes to look at him. 

“Be happy, Rey.” he said with a small smile, “Explore the galaxy, find the family you have been searching for.”

Rey shook her head, “No.” she cried, “I can’t live without you Ben, I won’t.”

“You have to.” he said firmly, “The galaxy needs you, Rey.” 

“But I need you!” she argued back.

He let out an amused huff, shaking his head, “You don’t need me, you deserve so much better than me, Rey.” She watched in confusion as he focused on a strand of hair that fell in front of her face. Using the force, Ben raised it to tuck behind her ear. It made Rey want to both laugh and cry at the sweet gesture. 

“I love your smile, you should smile more, Rey, it lights up whatever room you are in.” he said, his eyes shining with something Rey couldn’t only describe as compassion, “When you smile, you are my favourite Jedi.”

Her heart skipped a beat at his words and she surged forward, pressing her lips to his in a shy kiss. 

Ben immediately returned it, kissing her passionately. He moved his legs down, encouraging her to come closer. Rey found herself seated in his lap, hands in his hair as her lips moved against his. They were so soft and perfect, it was better than anything she had ever dreamed of. If only things could be this way forever.

Maybe in another life, in another world, they would have found each other, fallen in love and lived happily ever after like they did in the storybooks. 

After a few blessed moments, Rey pulled away, her heart aching as she did so. 

At that moment, Leia whispered into the cell, “Rey, we need to go.” 

Rey shook her head, sobbing as she spoke, “I can’t leave you.”

Ben gave her a small smile, “You never will, no matter what happens to me, I’ll always be with you.” he said, his own eyes filling with tears. 

His words made her heart break with the reality of their situation, they would never be together. 

“Don’t come tomorrow.” Ben begged, “Please. I don’t want you to see.”

Rey nodded slowly, pressing a kiss to his temple, she would do whatever he asked of her.

“Rey.” Leia’s voice called again. 

Rey hurriedly placed a chaste kiss to Ben’s lips before getting to her feet and walking away, pausing by the door to look at her love, one last time…


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feeling of his kiss ghosted her lips. The stolen, precious moment would exist only in her memory. It had been the perfect first kiss, something she had only ever wanted to share with him. She couldn’t imagine kissing anyone else, lying in another man’s arms, it would only ever be Ben. He was her other half, the part of her that had been missing before she found him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo the second chapter is here! Hope you all enjoy 💜

Rey didn’t sleep, still wide awake when the sun rose. How could she have slept when her mind was racing? She tried to come up with a plan, a way for them to escape and run away together. Nothing came to her, her mind was blank. She felt useless. Why didn’t she try harder? Maybe if she had ignited her saber and threatened them all, or forcibly removed them from the situation, fighting their way out of the base. They could have taken on the soldiers, together they could do anything.

She should have shouted and screamed for them to let him go, or go with him. Because what was the point in living if she couldn’t be with him? Living for the rest of her life without his comforting words, his touch, his kiss...

The feeling of his kiss ghosted her lips. The stolen, precious moment would exist only in her memory. It had been the perfect first kiss, something she had only ever wanted to share with him. She couldn’t imagine kissing anyone else, lying in another man’s arms, it would only ever be Ben. He was her other half, the part of her that had been missing before she found him.

They had been through so much, their fates entwined ever since they came face to face on Takodana. She had been so afraid, unsure of what to think of this masked creature that had kidnapped her and tried to kill her, all for a droid. He had looked into her mind, demanded answers that she refused to give him. She had fought back and from that moment onwards, nothing would be the same ever again. 

The strange connection between them had brought them together against their will, bridged their minds and unveiling the secrets of their pasts that they were both too afraid to face alone. Except, they weren’t alone anymore. They had reached out, searching for each other across the stars and with a gentle touch witnessed a vision neither of them could comprehend.

A vision of a future where they stood side by side, together. A future that was no longer a possibility. History would remember them, their battles and duels. The Supreme Leader and The Last Jedi, they would be remembered as soldiers. 

They wouldn’t be remembered as Ben Solo and Rey of Jakku. History wouldn’t remember their love, their story, their wonderful connection that had brought them together from across the stars. 

The galaxy would forget. Their tale would be lost, their story would die with her. 

She couldn’t let that happen. 

So she got up, not even bothering to make herself look appropriate, simply grabbing her saber and running. Running as fast as she could and hoping that it wasn’t too late…

\---

The stage for the execution had been set up in the jungle. The Resistance would be gathering to watch, cameras filming the event to show the galaxy. According to what she had heard in the corridors, they were going to decapitate him. The thought made Rey sick to her stomach, she understood why he didn’t want her there. She didn’t really want Ben to lose his head, she quite liked that handsome face. 

The corridors of the base were empty, everyone had gathered at the stage to watch the Supreme Leader meet his fate. Rey ran faster, the sun was rising in the east, she was running out of time. 

She would never forgive herself if she was too late, she never even told him she loved him. She had to tell him. They had missed so much, made too many mistakes. There was so much she could have done, she should have taken his hand all those months ago in the throne room, maybe then they wouldn’t be in this situation. It all could have been prevented if she had just followed her heart. She could have still saved the Resistance, maybe if she was at his side, she could have helped end the war. 

Her feet carried her through the hanger and out into the jungle, the sound of distant shouting filling her ears. She was close.

Rey was coming closer to the crowd, she ran faster, pushing past people as she looked up to see Ben kneeling on the stage, a Force-suppression collar around his neck, eyes empty of all emotion as he waited patiently. Her gaze flickered to where the executioner was igniting his crimson lightsaber, this was truly horrific. 

Rey pushed further, her heart turning cold as the blade slowly began to come down.

“NO!” she screamed, jumping up onto the stage and throwing herself on top of Ben, causing them to fall down to the ground. Ben let out a groan, looking at her with sad eyes. The executioner stumbled backwards as the crowd gasped.

“If you kill him you’ll have to kill me too!” Rey shouted, loud and clear, sitting up and wrapping her arms around Ben, holding him close to her so his head was resting against her chest. 

“Rey, NO!” Finn shouted, coming into view from where he had been standing at the side of the stage, clutching Rose’s hand. 

“Stand back, Rey.” Poe said firmly. 

“I won’t!” Rey said firmly, “I love him.” As the words left her lips, the crowd of people broke into a shocked chatter, cursing at her, the words traitor being screamed at her. 

“Rey, don’t do this.” Ben whispered, his eyes pleading. 

“ If I never knew you, if I never felt this connection between us. I would have no inkling of how precious life can be.” she repeated the words he had told her last night, the words that would always have a place in her heart. If Ben was going to die, then she would go with him. They were together, now and forever.

“He is evil, Rey! You don’t understand what you are doing, think about what he has done!” Poe exclaimed, taking the saber from the executioner and pointing it in their direction, “He deserves to die.”

Rey glared at him, “Doing this makes us just as bad as the First Order, it’s despicable. If all we do is hate, how will there ever be peace in the galaxy?” she asked him, turning to the crowd, “This is where hate has brought us, we should be forgiving people, making the galaxy a better place for everyone and fighting for what’s right.” she took a deep breath, “We should be better than this. It’s time to let the past die, to move forward and strive to be the better people.”

The crowd once again began to shout.

“Kill them both!”

“He needs to be punished.”

“We should send them into exile, let them run away and be together.”

“Strike them down!”

That was when Leia stepped forward, “Enough!” she shouted, her voice silencing the crowd of people. “We are not the First Order, and I’ll be damned if I ever allow us to become it. We are better than them, we will not allow ourselves to be victims to our own hatred.” Rey held onto Ben, her head resting against his as she took deep breaths. They were together, for now, they were safe.

“My son has committed many crimes, hurt so many people and is the enemy we all swore to destroy.” Ben cringed slightly at that, everything Leia was saying was true, “But I know that just like my father, he is capable of change, of redeeming himself. In order to do that, he needs to be given a chance.”

The crowd began to murmur amongst themselves, Rey could only hope that I was from their confliction, that maybe they would see the light. “Our own Jedi believes my son to be worthy of redemption, of love.” Leia’s voice cracked, she tried to pull herself together but a few stray tears ran down her cheeks. Rey looked to Ben who was watching his mother intently. “Rise up against the First Order, do what’s right, give my son a chance to prove himself to you.”

Rey closed her eyes, waiting for the crowd to shout and curse at them, order for them to be killed. 

But to her surprise, she heard shouts of agreement. Opening her eyes, she looked around in shock. She couldn’t believe it. Her gaze flickered up to Leia who was standing proudly, she really was an incredible leader. 

She turned to Ben, smiling at him as people began to shout that they should be let go. He gave her a small, shy one in return. 

Poe powered down the lightsaber, stepping forward and helping the pair to their feet. Rey stepped back as he moved to take off Ben’s restraints, patting him on the back. 

Ben pulled his hands free, opening up his arms. Rey rushed into them, her arms coming around his neck as he held her close. The crowd began to talk hurriedly, many of them confused but willing to listen. 

Maybe this story could end in happily ever after. They were together, nothing could break them apart now.

She slowly pulled away from him, looking up at him with tears filling her eyes. 

“Thank you, Rey.” He whispered gently. 

She smiled at him, reaching up to cup his cheek. As she did so, she noticed something in the corner of her eye, a movement. Looking over Ben’s shoulder, she watched as a very angry looking Resistance soldier jumped up onto the stage, blaster pointed directly at Ben’s back. 

Rey didn’t think, she moved quickly without hesitation. She couldn’t lose him, not now that Leia had been able to save him. Using all the strength she could muster, she shoved him out of the way, ready to stop the blast moving towards them. 

Focusing on the direction of the blaster bolt, she used her strength to change its course, moving it away from Ben. She let out a sigh of relief, losing her focus on the bolt she was holding before letting it go completely with the intention that it would hit the wall.

Only, it didn’t. 

At first, she barely noticed it, looking to Ben who let out a shout. He moved towards her, taking her into his arms. It was then that she noticed the searing pain blooming in her side. She looked up to see blood seeping through her shirt. 

“Oh.” she breathed. Her head began to feel dizzy and her knees buckled as she fell back into Ben’s arms, the pair of them slowly sinking to the ground.

Distantly, she could hear people shouting, crying out in shock. She tried her best to focus on Ben who was shouting for help. She felt tired. Rey could hear Ben pleading for her to hold on. 

And she tried, she really tried her best. But it was no use when the world slowly faded away and darkness overcame her, clouding her vision and her mind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
> Come say hi:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He refused to leave her side, holding onto her hand as he sat at her bedside, waiting for her to wake up. Because she had to wake up. She had risked her life to save him, run up onto that stage and refused to let them kill him, shielding him from harm. 
> 
> She had told everyone that she loved him.
> 
> And he hadn’t had the chance to tell her he felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! I hope you enjoy this one, it focuses primarily on Leia and Ben, a relationship that needed to be explored more in TROS but just like wasn't... 😤
> 
> I hope I can do them justice!

The sound of monitors beeping filled the room. It was a horrible sound, one that made him want to cry because he hated what they meant. They meant she was hurt, that she was very much in danger. But supposed the beeping was a good thing, the last thing he wanted was for them to stop. 

It had been five hours. Five long hours since she had pushed him away. Five hours since she had taken a blast that had been meant for him. Five hours since she had fallen to the ground in his arms. Five hours since he had clutched her hand as she fell unconscious. 

The medics said she was going to be okay, that she would make it as long as she had time to rest. 

He refused to leave her side, holding onto her hand as he sat at her bedside, waiting for her to wake up. Because she  _ had  _ to wake up. She had risked her life to save him, run up onto that stage and refused to let them kill him, shielding him from harm. 

She had told everyone that she loved him.

And he hadn’t had the chance to tell her he felt the same.

He could only hope that he would soon have the chance to do so, to tell her that he loved her so much. For so long he had hidden his feelings away, even tried his best to forget about them, it would only cause him pain. He had been ready to die, he deserved it after everything he had done. Rey had refused to allow it, her beautiful shining light had fought for him, even if it meant she had to die too. He would have done the same, a life without Rey wasn’t worth living.

She was his everything, his light in his darkness. He thought he was irredeemable, that his crimes were too great, but she had shown everyone that he deserved a second chance. 

Every time they had met in secret, he had planned to tell her how he felt, each time he hadn’t. Because he was afraid. Afraid that she would reject him or laugh at him. But most of all, he was afraid that she would feel the same, because it would destroy both of them. 

The night before the execution, his only regret was that he would never see her again, that she would never know. But she had come to him, walked into the cell and hugged him as she cried. He couldn’t imagine a life without her, and he told her so. If he had never met her, he would never know how wonderful the galaxy could be. Those meetings had been the light in his life, the thing he looked forward to every day, seeing her was a joy he couldn’t describe.

When she had kissed him, he knew. He knew that she felt the same, and it broke his heart. Part of him had wanted to tell her in that cell, to tell her how much he loved her, that he always had. But doing so would be so cruel, forcing Rey to live the rest of her life knowing that they could have been something beautiful, that if they hadn’t been so blind they could have been together.

Their first kiss had been perfect, the way her soft lips had caressed his own had made his heart fly. It felt like a breath of fresh air after feeling suffocated for so long, a shooting star on a dark night, water after being in a desert for so long. He had never wanted to stop kissing her, it hurt enough not being able to hold her in his arms because of the damn chains that held him back. 

As soon as those chains had been broken, for one blissful moment, he had been free. He had held Rey in his arms. The fear in Rey’s eyes as she had pulled away from him would forever be imprinted on his mind.

The soldier who had tried to kill him, only for Rey to take the blast for him, had been locked up. Ben hoped he rotted in a cell for the rest of his life.

Ben looked up at Rey now. It looked like she was sleeping, that she was calm and peaceful, dreaming of an island surrounded by an ocean. The machines that surrounded her said otherwise. She was fighting, the medics had assured him that she would make it through, they just had to be patient. 

Still holding onto her hand, Ben leaned down, resting his head on the pillow next to her. He watched as her chest rose and fell, a reminder that she was alive, that she was breathing and would be okay. 

“You have to be okay.” he whispered, “I need you to beat me in our duels again, I’ll let you win every time if you wake up.” 

He gently ran his thumb in circles on the back of her hand, round and round in a gesture that he hoped she would find comforting. Maybe it was more for him though, a reminder that she was there, that they would never let each other go again. 

“I wish I had told you sooner, I wish you were here so I could tell you now.” His voice was breaking as he spoke, tears threatening to fall, “I love you, Rey, please say it back.”

The sound of the door opening dragged his attention away from her and he turned to see his mother standing in the doorway, a sympathetic smile across her face.

“Walk with me?” she asked.

Ben’s grip on Rey’s hand tightened. 

“I have a comm with me, they will notify me immediately if anything changes.” she said. 

Ben looked down at Rey, what would she want him to do?

Conversations of her asking him to try and reconnect with his mother came to mind. So, with a quiet sigh, Ben pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and got to his feet. He slowly walked towards his mother, taking one last look at Rey before leaving the room.

\---

They walked in silence through the jungle, occasionally stopping so Ben could help his mother over a fallen tree trunk or across one of the small streams that weaved through the trees. It was a warm planet, not as hot as the blazing suns of Jakku, it was a very humid environment. He found the greenery of the jungle rather beautiful, Rey must have loved it. More than once he had suggested they meet up on a green planet, just so he could see her smile as she took in her surroundings, running to explore the world around her. 

He didn’t know what to say to his mother, which crime did he start with first? The tension in the air was suffocating, it had been so long, so much had happened since he last saw her. So many questions raced through his mind. Why did she persuade the Resistance to save his life? After everything he had done, why did she save him? Ben knew he did not deserve this mercy. 

His father’s face drifted to the forefront of his mind, an overwhelming feeling of guilt washed over him. The act that had torn him in two would never leave him, he would never forgive himself for what he did. He would regret it for the rest of his life. Every day he missed his father, his warm laugh and the inappropriate jokes that would earn them both a stern word from his mother. He missed sitting on his father’s lap in the Falcon’s cockpit, watching as the stars raced by. 

His gaze flickered to his mother, wondering who would talk first. He was unsure whether she was about to start screaming at him or crying. He dreaded both scenarios. 

“What happened to ‘girls are gross, mom’?” Leia asked casually, completely catching him off guard as they reached the edge of one of the jungle’s many cliffs. Ben’s cheeks turned pink as he took a seat on a fallen trunk beside her. “Your ears are pink, just how they used to be when you were embarrassed. Han used to tease you about it all the time.” Ben was surprised by how easily Leia spoke, no malice or spite in her voice as she simply stared out at the jungle ahead.

“I don’t know how I can even begin to express how sorry I am, General.” he said. Leia turned to him, before reaching him up and slapping him around the back of the head, “Ow!” Ben exclaimed.

“Don’t call me General, I’m your mother.” 

“Even now?”

Leia sighed, her hand moving to gently caress the area she had hit him, “Even now.” she said firmly, “I will always be your mother, Ben, and I will always love you.” a small smile spread across her face, “Besides, I will be expecting grandchildren at some point, I hope you realise.” 

Ben let out something halfway between a laugh and a tired sigh, “I don’t think we are quite ready for that yet… Mom.” It felt surprisingly good to call her Mom again, it felt like he was coming home. He supposed he was. For so long, he had been lost, been afraid. But Rey had guided him home, even if there was an almost execution at one point.

Leia smiled at him, “That won’t stop me from being excited, I’m so happy for you both, I’m glad you found each other.” 

Ben looked down at his feet, “So am I, although I really don’t understand.” he admitted, “After everything I have done, you both should hate me.”

“I would never hate you, Ben. The things you have done to me, to Rey, to the galaxy are awful and I find myself wanting to scream at you because of it.” Leia said honestly, her hand tightening around her cane as she spoke. “But I also want to scream at that monster who was whispering in your ear, plaguing your thoughts for years. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, especially when you were so lost.” There were a few tears rolling down her cheeks now. 

Ben reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “It wasn’t your fault. I forgive you, Mom.”

“Then I forgive you too. If my brother believed your grandfather was worthy of forgiveness, then you do too.” she replied. “I couldn’t let them kill you, Ben. Redemption doesn’t equal death.”

Leia rested her head against her son’s shoulder. Ben followed, resting his head against hers, “I love you, Mom.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
> Come say hi:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


	4. Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben flew to his feet before reaching forward and pulling her into a hug, “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” he sobbed. 
> 
> Rey nodded, “I’m okay, it will take a lot more than a blaster to get rid of me.” she said, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Solo.” 
> 
> Ben pulled back, smiling at her, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” he said, caressing her cheeks. 

Rey woke to the sound of short, steady beeps that seemed to be going at the same rate as her beating heart. The next thing she heard was soft snoring. Slowly, she opened her eyes to search for the strange noise. She didn’t have to look far.

Sitting next to her bed in a very uncomfortable chair, with his head resting next to her leg as he slept, was Ben. Rey smiled; he had told her how much trouble he had sleeping, she was glad that he was finally resting now.

It was then that she noticed how he was holding her hand, clutching it even, as if he was afraid of losing her. Her eyes drifted to his sleeping face, she found he looked rather adorable when he slept, even if he was drooling a little bit. Rey tried her best to stifle her laugh, watching as Ben fidgeted in his sleep. 

She had no idea how long she had been out for. It could have been minutes, hours, days or even months. She had no idea. How long had Ben waited for her? Memories came to her one by one. Jumping onto the stage, throwing herself in front of Ben and proclaiming to the whole of the Resistance that she loved him. Running into his open arms and finally being able to experience his warm embrace. The moment was perfect until it was replaced by the painful fear as she watched a resistance soldier aim their blaster at Ben. She didn’t hesitate, if saving him meant losing her own life, so be it. 

It had all led her to this moment, with a really uncomfortable pain on her side. When she looked down she saw that it was now covered in a large bandage which no doubt had stitches beneath it. 

Reaching down with the hand Ben wasn’t clutching, she slowly began to run it through his hair in a comforting gesture. She watched as Ben slowly began to wake, his eyes fluttering open as he let out a contented sigh. He then realised who must have been running their fingers through his hair and his eyes widened. 

When his gaze met hers, she gave him a small smile, “Has anyone ever told you that you snore really loudly in your sleep?” she asked.

Ben flew to his feet before reaching forward and pulling her into a hug, “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” he sobbed. 

Rey nodded, “I’m okay, it will take a lot more than a blaster to get rid of me.” she said, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Solo.” 

Ben pulled back, smiling at her, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” he said, caressing her cheeks. 

Everything felt calm, peaceful, like everything had finally fallen into place. Yes there was still a war going on, and no one knew what tomorrow would bring, but for now, they had each other and that was all that mattered. 

Ben quickly called for a medic so they could run some tests to make sure she was okay. He sat, perched on the edge of her bed, still holding onto her hand as the medics took her vitals. After a few tense moments, they said she was healing nicely and just needed to take things easy for a few days whilst her wound healed. 

They thanked the medic for the help before they left the room, giving them their much-needed privacy. There was a lot to talk about. 

“How long was I out?” Rey asked. 

“Three days.” Ben said quietly, bringing her hand to his lips and giving it a small kiss, “You really scared me, I thought I was going to lose you.”

Rey reached up to cup his face, using her thumb to wipe a stray tear that had fallen. “ You will never lose me, no matter what happens to me, I’ll always be with you.” she said, once again repeating his words from the cell. Except for this time, it wasn’t goodbye. Everything would be okay now because they had finally found each other. 

Ben laughed, “My scavenger, looks like you are taking my words from me now.” 

Rey laughed with him, it felt good to laugh. After everything that had happened, it felt good to be able to smile and laugh, pretending that the galaxy was a better place than it actually was. 

The fact they now had a chance warmed her heart, a few days ago she thought they had reached the end of their story before it had even begun. She was a hopeful person usually, but the fear of losing Ben had crushed her, she couldn’t imagine what she would have done if she hadn’t reached him in time. 

But now, she didn’t need to worry about what-ifs. Because Ben was sitting next to her, his hand holding her own as they smiled like lovesick idiots at each other. They had a whole future ahead of them, full of possibilities. It made Rey excited, maybe even overwhelmed. But overall, it made her  _ happy. _ And at that moment, she knew that as long as she had Ben Solo, she would be the happiest woman in the galaxy.

Now that the medics had unplugged her from the various machines, Rey was able to lean forward and press a kiss to Ben’s cheek as she looped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Ben.”

A smile as bright as day broke out across his face as he leant forward, leaning his forehead against her own, “I love you too, Rey.”

\---

There was a  _ lot  _ to discuss. Once Rey was discharged, a meeting was held with the Resistance leadership almost immediately. On one side of the large meeting table in the control room was the General, Poe Dameron seated next to her alongside the other lieutenants and officials. On the other side, Rey sat with Ben standing behind her protectively, holding onto her hand.

The room was tense and more than one person was fidgeting nervously as the meeting began. Two of the most powerful Force-users the galaxy had ever seen were standing together, they were unstoppable. They could turn the tide of the war, defeat the First Order once and for all. 

But staying with the Resistance also meant they were putting every soldier at risk. In the meeting, Ben mentioned his relationship with General Hux who had no doubt seized control of the First Order and would stop at nothing to secure it. It made the Resistance a target more than ever, after the events at the execution had been broadcasted across the galaxy, the Resistance knew it wouldn’t be long before the First Order’s hackers were able to track down where the signal had come from.

There was also the issue regarding both Force-users’ own safety on the base. Rey’s current predicament only proved that Ben wasn’t trusted, it would take the Resistance a long time to accept Ben, the time they didn’t have due to the way the war was turning. 

Staying on the base put many people in danger. Rey thought of her friends, her family, she couldn’t risk their safety. But she also couldn’t abandon them. 

“What if Rey stayed and he left?” Poe asked, pointing a finger in Ben’s direction. 

Rey felt Ben’s hand tighten around hers, in response, she entwined their fingers as she tried to remain calm. Rey looked to Ben, she could stay on the base, he was the one who put everyone in danger. Throughout the meeting, they had been referred to as a package deal, maybe because they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands since the meeting had started. 

“One of your own men shot her, how can I trust that she will be safe?” Ben asked, glaring daggers across the room. 

The group went around in circles. The Resistance leaders arguing with Ben over whether or not Rey should stay or go with him. Leia and Rey both remained silent, watching the exchange nervously, afraid that either Poe or Ben was about to start shouting at each other. 

Rey looked to Poe, he had been civil at the execution, stepping forward to remove Ben’s restraints. But the Resistance would always come first for Poe, Rey could respect and understand that. 

They continued to argue back and forth for another ten minutes, ranging from Rey’s safety to why the Resistance needed Rey as their Jedi Poster Girl. 

Finally, Leia stepped in. “That’s enough.” she said with finality in her tone. “We all have our own opinions on this matter, but at the end of the day, it is Rey’s decision and Rey’s decision alone. She is not obliged to stay, if it is her wish to leave with my son then I will personally support that decision, the same if she chooses to remain here.” Leia turned her gaze to Rey, “This is your decision, Rey, no one here can make it for you.”

The room fell silent, all eyes on Rey. Slowly, she got up from her seat, struggling slightly as her torso screamed in pain. Ben was quick to help her, supporting her as she stood. She looked to him and then at the Resistance leaders who had remained seated.

She knew what decision she was going to make.

“I will be leaving with Ben Solo tomorrow morning.” she said firmly.

And so the group once again broke into conversation, negotiating on what their next steps would be. After a few hours of deliberating, they all came to a mutual agreement.

Rey and Ben were free to leave but would communicate with the Resistance on hidden comm channels. That way, Ben could continue to supply the Resistance with intel and Rey could be reached in the case of an emergency. 

The meeting came to a close and it was decided that Rey and Ben would leave in the Falcon as soon as possible in order to avoid any more incidents. As everyone filed out of the room, Ben helped Rey back to her feet, supporting her as they walked across the room to where Leia was sitting. 

Leia gave them both warm smiles, pressing kisses to both their cheeks. She embraced her son and Rey watched curiously, she wondered what had happened whilst she was out, maybe Ben had been finally able to reconcile with his mother.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, I can transfer credits onto an anonymous account to keep you both going wherever you two end up.” she said as they began to walk in the direction of the hanger. 

“You’ve already done so much for us, General, we can’t thank you enough.” Rey replied, if it weren’t for her, she doubted that she and Ben would still be in one piece. 

Leia chuckled, “You really must stop calling me that.” she said, shaking her head, “I’m not your superior, Rey, if anything I am soon to be your mother in law.” 

Rey watched as Ben’s cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, awkwardly looking down at his feet as they reached the ramp of the Falcon. She rubbed his shoulder in a comforting gesture, using the bond to reassure him that he didn’t need to worry. One day she would love to be able to call him her husband, but for now, she was happy with the way things were. They had a whole lifetime ahead of them, they had all the time in the galaxy, they didn’t need to rush into things they weren’t quite ready for because they feared they would never get the chance.

They said a heartfelt goodbye to Leia, the only person who would be seeing them off. It was safer to contact Finn, Rose and Chewie after they had left. They would understand, and it’s not like they would never see them again. 

By now, Rey was absolutely knackered, her torso aching as she walked. Ben decided he wasn’t having any of it so she soon found herself being lifted into his arms and carried up the ramp of the Falcon, earning a chuckle from Leia. 

They paused at the top. Even at a distance, Rey could see the tears in Leia’s eyes as she gave them a wave goodbye. 

Rey took a deep breath, trying her best to hold back her own tears as the couple waved farewell. Rey was really starting to hate saying goodbye. Slowly, Ben carried her up the rest of the ramp, giving his mother one last smile before closing the Falcon door. 

As they took off, Ben was doing most of the work as Rey sat in the co-pilot’s seat, watching as the dark jungle disappeared beneath them. Once they had left the planet’s atmosphere and were greeted by the twinkling stars, Ben turned to her, “Where do we go from here?” he asked.

Rey smiled, reaching out to hold his hand, “Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
> Come say hi:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


	5. Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can I kiss you?” he asked. He was so unbelievably sweet to ask, still unsure whether or not they were moving too quickly. Maybe they were, but Rey couldn’t find the will to care, they had waited for each other for long enough.
> 
> “Of course you can.” Rey answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The final chapter! I have loved writing this story so much, I love the song it was inspired by and the prompt, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. 
> 
> Shout out to the wonderful Cecilia for beta-reading this fic, I honestly don't know what I would do without you, thank you for making my mess something readable! You can check out her [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/works) here, I really recommend her work, she has written some truly amazing fics!

_ And if I never knew you _

_ If I never knew you _

_ I'd have lived my whole life through _

_ Empty as the sky _

_ Never knowing why _

_ Lost forever _

_ If I never knew you _

Rey sat on the balcony of Ben’s family’s Lake House on Naboo. It was a truly wonderful place, it stole Rey’s breath away as soon as she had lain eyes on Varykino. Ben told her it had been the place his grandparents had fallen in love and then later married in secret. Rey could see why, the flowers that surrounded the house, running up the stone walls made it a very romantic environment. It made Rey smile, she liked this place a lot. It seemed to be the perfect place for her and Ben to hide their love. 

Leia had given them a comm each that connected them to a private channel so she could inform them of the Resistance's plans and progress. Rey had been adamant that she was made aware of each attack planned against the First Order, she refused to abandon the Resistance after everything they had done for her, she would be on the front lines with them when the time came to fight back. Ben was unsure, but he’d be damned if he let Rey go into battle alone, so he reluctantly agreed.

They had arrived in the late afternoon after spending almost a day and a half in the Falcon. Most of their time on it had been spent talking about everything and anything. He told her about the conversations he had with his mother, how he still couldn’t believe she had forgiven him for everything he had done. As they sat in the quiet ship, he had shed a few tears for his father, his head resting on Rey’s chest as she ran her fingers through his hair before wiping away his tears and telling him how proud his father would be of him.

He told her how he hadn’t feared the execution, his only regret would be that he wouldn’t be able to tell her how much he loved her. Rey had cried then, telling her afraid she had been that the idea of losing him was unbearable. They held each other as they remembered the event, how much they had worried about each other at various points. Both of their biggest fears had been about losing each other, both of which had very nearly been a reality if it weren’t for the knowledge of the medics and the bravery of both Rey and his mother.

When they arrived, Ben had insisted that she rest whilst he lifted their supplies from the Falcon into the house. She had tried to argue with him, but was shut down immediately after Ben had expressed his concern. “I’ve already nearly lost you once, please just take things easy, Rey. I can manage by myself, just rest.” he said, his voice pleading with her to listen. She understood, aware that she must have given him quite the scare.

She wasn’t even in pain anymore, but Ben was insistent so she listened to him, opting to explore the house a bit. It seemed to have been locked and uninhabited for a number of years, white sheets covering most of the furniture and a thick layer of dust on the remaining surfaces suggested no one had stayed there in years. When she asked Ben he told her that he hadn’t been there since his childhood, before he had left to train with Luke. She imagined Ben as a child, running around the corridors or swimming in the lake, it brought a smile to his face. He suggested that Leia must have been there since then but considering the nature of her job before the war, it was unlikely. It seemed like a shame no one had been living in it, in Rey’s eyes it was certainly the most beautiful place in the galaxy, why anyone would leave it practically abandoned baffled her. 

Rey had marvelled at the gorgeous furniture as she pulled off the white sheets, bundling them up so they could be put away now that there would be people living in the house again. The house was fit for a queen with gold trimming along with a lot of the tables and surfaces, rich fabrics with wonderful colours and several antiques that Rey was almost afraid to touch. She kept her distance from a lot of the very expensive looking items, she knew she would accidentally break them if she got too close. She opened up the curtains, allowing sunlight to pour into the rooms, lighting up the rooms and bathing them in the glorious oranges of the evening. When she had eventually made her way onto the balcony after looking at the master bedroom in awe, she was rendered speechless as her eyes took in the view. 

The lake was beautiful, the evening sun reflecting on the water made it sparkle in a way Rey had never seen before. The surrounding waterfalls and greenery made her eager to explore. As soon as she had the chance, she wanted to see it all, discover everything this wonderful planet had to offer. Rey took a deep breath, closing her eyes as a pleasant breeze sent her hair flying. It took the pressure off the still-warm sunlight, so unlike the scorching suns of Jakku that had sent her hiding in the shipwrecks. She found she could get used to such pleasant weather.

Maybe after the war was over they could stay here, instead of their hiding place, it could be their home. She knew she wanted to travel the galaxy, to see everything it had to offer. But she also wanted a place she could call home, a place that would always be waiting for them to come back too. In her heart, she knew that wherever Ben was would be her home, they were together from now on and she knew they would follow each other anywhere.

Would Ben want to stay here? Maybe even one day raise a family here and grow old looking out as the sunset over the lakes. Yes, this was somewhere she would definitely want to call home. Rey smiled at the thought. They were forever now, in this together until the end. And there was no one in the galaxy whom she would rather spend forever with. 

“I think that’s the last of it.” Ben announced as he walked out onto the balcony to join her. Leia had supplied them with enough rations to last them a couple of weeks. Eventually, they would have to go into town to stock up but they preferred to do that as little as possible, they didn’t want to stay in public for long. The worst thing they could do now was get caught and reported to the First Order. There was no doubt already a very large bounty on Ben’s head, they didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks.

Rey got to her feet, moving to stand with him at the edge of the balcony, looking out at the water. She rested her head on his shoulder as he took her hand, entwining their fingers, “It’s beautiful.” 

Rey nodded in agreement, “I could certainly think of worse places to be hiding.” They were very lucky that the house was vacant, the last thing she wanted was to be hiding in a city surrounded by people or even worse, back in the Jakku desert with nothing but sand as far as she could see.

“As long as I have you, I would be fine spending our days in a cave.” 

Rey chuckled, “If you want to stay in a cave you can but I’m staying here if you don’t mind.” 

Ben looked down at her, rolling his eyes, “You know what I mean.” he said. 

Rey nodded, reaching up to cup his cheeks, “I know.” No matter where they were, all they needed was each other and they could make it through anything that came their way. 

She gave him a small smile as he leant forward to rest his forehead against hers, brushing his nose with hers, just as he had in the cell. Rey refused to think about that now. Last time she had cried, this time she let out a giggle. Ben brushed his lips against her cheek before pulling back and looking into her eyes.

They were inches apart when Ben spoke, “Can I kiss you?” he asked. He was so unbelievably sweet to ask, still unsure whether or not they were moving too quickly. Maybe they were, but Rey couldn’t find the will to care, they had waited for each other for long enough.

“Of course you can.” Rey answered.

Ben didn’t need to be told twice, he surged forward and pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. It felt like fireworks. Rey opened up to him, allowing him to kiss her as if his life depended on it. His lips were so soft against her own, drawing her in and making her heart beat erratically against her chest.

Everything felt perfect, there was no impending doom or fear that this was the last kiss they would ever experience. This time, there was only joy and their love. They were finally together with nothing that could pull them apart. 

When they pulled away, Rey was left breathless, her hands running through Ben’s hair. “I love you.” she said. 

Ben leant down, his lips brushing against her own as he gave her his reply, “I know.” And in the dying sunlight, he kissed her again and this time Rey was certain of the ending of their story. It was definitely going to end in happily ever after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for all your support on this story! Come and say hi, I am very active on Twitter and love engaging with fellow Reylos! 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
> Come say hi:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


End file.
